I'm falling more in love with the distance put between us

[woodsmoke will always tell old stories]
sam/girl dean, past sam/ruby
adult
4980 words

notes: au. Dean is a girl and always has been.

( In the backseat the leather is cold on her legs. It’s early November and she’s wondering where things went wrong. She remembers back in July, the way his fingers felt on her back, moving in tiny ticklish circles; her body aches for him in ways she’s never known before. )

[it seems you need a saving grace, and a savior's something i'm not]
Gen - rated R
3,943 words

notes: AU from In My Time of Dying. thank you to purestvixen and lilibella for the betas.

for fated_addiction

( Dean’s got nothing to say now, because John’s right and he knows it; he just doesn’t want to fight anymore. Dad was everything he looked up to for a long time, but Sammy was everything he lived for since he was four-years-old. It’s not so easy to keep going when you lose the only thing you ever remember living for. )

I've thought about this, and I think if I do this in a well controlled way for a certain amount of time...I should be fine.

I'll start off limiting my calories enough for my body to THINK it's starving, even though it isn't, and stop taking diet pills -- they're not helping me lose weight even if they ARE giving me energy, and they are making my kidneys do unpleasant things.

So I'll start off somewhere aroud 500 calories a day and decrease to 300 after a week, and do that for one month. If I've lost the desired amount of weight, I will increase by 100 calories for the next month, and so on.

I'm willing to play this game because my weight is ruining everything else; I can't look like and/or feel like this anymore. I'll make sure I stay healthy enough to have energy at my 2 jobs, and school, and working out -- and make sure that I have enough energy at the end of the day to take care of/play with Sam. Once I'm down about...15 to 20 pounds, I will slowly increase my caloric intake and slowly increase my amount of physical exercise to offset any chance of weight gain.

I can do this and be fine.

However, what I think is going to be hard, is looking for a 3rd job and trying to find a goddamn used car that isn't a complete piece of shit.

I have homework to do right now, and some creative writing that I should work on.